Old Lady in Court

[handy]

Defense  Attorney















Will you please state your age?
  Old Lady:
 I am 94 years old.
 
Defense Attorney:
 Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
 
Old Lady:
 There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, When a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
 
Defense Attorney:
 Did you know him?
 
Old Lady:
 No, but he sure was friendly.
 
Defense Attorney: 
 What happened after he sat down?
 
Old Lady:
 He started to rub my thigh.
 
Defense Attorney: 
 Did you stop him?
 
Old Lady:
 No, I didn't stop him.
 
Defense Attorney:
 Why not?
 
Little Old Lady:
 It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
 
Defense Attorney: 
 What happened next?
 
Old Lady:
 He began to rub all over my body.
 
Defense Attorney:
 Did you stop him then?
 
Old Lady:
 No, I did not stop him.
 
Defense Attorney:
 Why not?
 
Old Lady:
 His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
 
Defense Attorney: 
 What happened next?
 
Old Lady:
 Well, by then, I was feeling so spicy' that I just laid down and told him
 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'
 
Defense Attorney:
 Did he take you?
 
Old Lady:
 Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.