I'll get me coat!!

[Alsatian]

Jonathan Ross has been accused
of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take..
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Police stop a Pakistani in his transit on the motorway.
Policeman says "Do you know the limit is 70?"
The driver leans into the back and says:
"Hear that - 3 of you have got to get out!"
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4 immigrants were suffocated in the back of
a Tesco lorry last night. Every little helps.
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Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo
with blood pouring from them..
"B*ll*KS to that" said Paddy
"That's the last time I go lion dancing"
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63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning.
It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed.
The police are blaming AL IKEA .
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Scientists have revealed today that they have found a new
drug for depressed lesbians.. It's called Trydixagain.