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Messages - Old Cruser

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31
Fun Stuff / Health Care
« on: July 24, 2014, 05:33:05 PM »

     The British Medical Association has weighed in on the Prime Minister's new health care proposals.

 

     The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not

      to make any rash moves.

 

     The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the

      Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

 

     The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

     Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

 

     Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians

     said, "Oh, grow up!"

 

     The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the

     Radiologists could see right through it.

 

     The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands

     of the whole thing.

 

     The Ear Nose &Throat specialists didn't swallow it, and just wouldn't hear of it.

 

     The Pharmacologists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic

     Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

 

     The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were

     pissed off at the whole idea.

 

     The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, but the

     Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

 

     In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up

     to the arseholes in Westminster.


 

 

32
Fun Stuff / The Difference Between -----
« on: July 24, 2014, 05:30:21 PM »

No dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between
COMPLETE and FINISHED.

However, in a recent linguistic conference held in London , England , and
attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a
Guyanese, was the clear winner.

His final challenge was this: "Some say there is no difference between COMPLETE
and FINISHED. Please explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a
way that is easy to understand."

Here is his astute answer: "When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.
When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And if the right one catches
you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"

His answer was received with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes.

33
Fun Stuff / DAVE IS IN HOSPITAL
« on: July 24, 2014, 05:28:32 PM »
         


Who the hell is Dave you may ask, well…..?

Dave is the geezer who got home late one night and Marilyn his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?"

Dave replies "I was getting a tattoo!"

"A tattoo??" She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred quid note on my privates" he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking"? She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred quid note tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.

Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.

Three, I like how money feels in my hand.

And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred quid anytime you want."

Dave is now in The Manchester Royal Infirmary, Critical Care Unit, Room 233.

No visitors until further notice.

 

34
Haven't we got enough flipping Motor car companies in that area of Chesterfield already.

What about a large seconds retail clothes shop to give Tesco's and Primark a bit of competition.

35
General Discussion / Re: Shabby Chick
« on: July 24, 2014, 04:50:43 PM »
Well I'm only just getting used to the word 'Bling'  :-[
All these new words coming into our modern day language can be foxing at times to me.

I suppose they will be added to the Discretionary one day like the F word  ::)

36
General Discussion / Shabby Chick
« on: July 24, 2014, 10:11:21 AM »
Hubby was reading an article in the paper regarding shops and and asked me what Shabby Chick meant.
I had no idea!
However my elderly aunt from Cambridgeshire is staying with us at the moment and she could tell us  :-[
At 86 she's more with it than we are  :-?

Has anyone else heard of this name?
Do YOU know what type of shop it refers to?

37
Signed it -

Does anyone else think that maybe years ago child abuse wasn't frowned on as much as it  ( quite rightly) is today.
That maybe the powers that were thought a slap on the wrist and turning a blind eye was enough?

We have had the Jimmy Saville and the can of worms that opened and now this?

38
Politics / Re: Politicians - why do we bother?
« on: July 23, 2014, 07:39:22 PM »
Typical! Only interested in themselves and what they can get.
It's very often the same when a 'real life' situation needs looking at, hardly any of them turn up.
It's obviously not considered important enough for them to bother with.
 
Try living with an autistic child 24x7.
 Depending where they are on the scale they can be hard work and quite complex to understand at times.
I speak from experience from the lower to top end of the scale.

The politicians should be ashamed.  >:( -
It's time they took more notice of what is going on in the UK and kept their noses out of other countries business

39
General Discussion / Re: Look what happened on this day 37 years ago
« on: July 23, 2014, 03:27:00 PM »
Harry Potter look a like on the lower one  ;) Lovely photo's - what lovely memories to look back on.
Congratulations to you both x

40
General Discussion / Re: Look what happened on this day 37 years ago
« on: July 23, 2014, 10:18:08 AM »
Your Wedding Alsatian?

41
Chesterfield Discussion / Re: Delays at Horns Bridge
« on: July 22, 2014, 09:38:14 PM »
Typical

42
Chesterfield Discussion / Re: Delays at Horns Bridge
« on: July 22, 2014, 09:12:29 PM »
Why wasn't it thought out prior to starting the work!

43
General Discussion / Re: Best photo of 2014
« on: July 22, 2014, 05:10:01 PM »
Lovely photo's Emmz

44
Chesterfield Discussion / Street Lighting
« on: July 22, 2014, 05:02:32 PM »
 If they published a list of places that will be affected people would maybe be able to express their views



http://www.derbyshire.gov.uk/council/news_events/news-updates/2014/july/still_chance_to_have_your_say_on_possible_changes_to_street_lights.asp

45
Chesterfield Discussion / fun in the Summer break
« on: July 22, 2014, 02:04:40 PM »
There may just be something in this link which you may enjoy doing with your children/grandchildren during the summer break


http://www.derbyshire.gov.uk/council/news_events/news-updates/2014/july/fun_in_the_summer_holidays.asp

 New Tupton Village Carnival is this coming Saturday July 26th the  Procession starts from Ford street at 1 pm

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