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Messages - Old Cruser

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I was chatting to one of the staff from Smith's who I know. The person isn't on the post office side.
What I was told was that contrary to claims of queuing to the shop door it was in fact to the end of the aisle across from the book section.
Still quite a queue though considering how it snakes around from the P.O counters.
When I went in I did have to go right into the P.O area to see where things were.
As for the window displays I didn't take much notice

Fun Stuff / Re: More one-liners
« on: April 14, 2014, 01:48:25 PM »
251. Iím in shape. Round is a shape isnít it

252. When we were together, you always said youíd die for me. Now that weíve broke up, I think itís time you kept your promise!

253. She said she was approaching forty, and I couldnít help wondering from what direction.

254. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. Heíll shut up once you let him in.

255. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

256. They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

257. I said ďnoĒ to drugs, but they just wouldnít listen.

258. Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you donít have it.

259. I sometimes go to my own little world, but thatís okay, they know me there.

260. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

261. My drinking team has a bowling problem.

262. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

263. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

264. Itís not how good your work is, itís how well you explain it.

265. Seen it all, done it all, canít remember most of it.

266. I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then Iím gonna put pins into all the locations that Iíve traveled to. But first, Iím gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it wonít fall down.

267. If a leper gives you the finger, do you have to give it back?

268. Losing a husband can be hard: in my case it was almost impossible.

269. Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.

270. If a turtle doesnít have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

271. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

272. Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again.

273. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed

274. The best thing about living at the beach is that you only have assholes on three sides of you.

275. Silence doesnít mean your sexual performance left her speechless.

276. The farther away the future is, the better it looks.

277. Why is it that in the US: If you take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, terrified citizens will phone the police and report: ďThereís a naked person outside!Ē

278. Canadians are more polite when they are being rude than Americans are when they are being friendly.

279. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

280. I tried to hang myself with a bungee chord. I kept almost dying

Right then 271 and 271 - very true  ;)

Fun Stuff / Re: More one-liners
« on: April 14, 2014, 01:46:52 PM »
281. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Heís all right now.

282. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what Iím doing.

283. Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.

284. You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.

285. Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

286. Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

287. At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who donít. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

288. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

289. Constipated people donít give a crap.

290. Why is a bra singular and panties plural?

291. Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.

292. Without ME, itís just AWESO.

293. If you do not say it, they canít repeat it.

294. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on meÖ they were cramming for their finals.

295. Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.

296. If you donít care where you are, then you ainít lost.

297. Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.

298. You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

299. I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.

300. You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times youíve had?

301. You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

302. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

303. Roses are red violets are blue, Iím schizophrenic and so am I.

304. Ham and Eggs: A dayís work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

305. If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?

306. Donít hate me because Iím beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

307. Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege!

308. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

309. The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

310. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

311. Strangers have the best candy.

312. Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

313. Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

314. Trust but verify.

315. The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

316. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

317. The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

318. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

319. I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again.

320. If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Crickey Mr Corgi there's a lot there.

Ok 284,285,316, 309  :))

Not disability compliant though- only runs on special occasions

Doubt that would matter in the case of discrimination Scimitar, in some cases it's just not possible or cost effective to make things/places accessible.Look at the Crich Trams for instance, they have many trams running but only run the accessible one when needed.
Question - does any where in Derbyshire run open topped or ordinary ones for sight seeing as we see in other places. Can't say I have ever seen any myself?

Slacker - if it dry in December I can put my long Johns and thermal vest on - would be pleased to freeze on the top deck  :)


General Discussion / Re: We've got robins nesting again.
« on: April 13, 2014, 07:58:54 PM »
Blackbirds and Robins seem to be the two most 'tame' breed of wild birds which come to our ground feeder.
They don't mind that we are sitting in the garden not too far away from them

Politics / Re: Ministers tell GPs to open all hours
« on: April 13, 2014, 07:53:48 PM »
Do we have enough GP's for this?
Even GP's will get tired and possibly more mistakes will be made.
I'm not completely sold on the 'internet' idea either
In theory it's a good idea but only if there enough GP's.

Amazing how many different buses there are out there. Wish we saw more of the open topped buses around here.

I'm wondering if this is the report which I missed on TV one night last week?
Daughter called me and told me there was something on about a boy and a GP practice in Chesterfield but it had gone off when I switched TV on.

The practice we use has three surgeries in our area and awhile ago they were going to close one down and divert all the patience to our village.
We had questioners about it.
My response was very negative due to access and parking issues.
What they have done is build a new practice in Clay Cross which is much more adequate.

As for appointments - I recently had to take daughter to A&E with an infected toe and was given meds and told to have it rechecked at her own GP following week.
She couldn't get in for two weeks, so took the appointment for that.
Surgery then rang and cancelled that app and put her back another week!

I'm taking her on Monday tea time!

Not good all round by the sounds of it

I wish they would have run them in the daytime maybe Sunday, wasn't able to get out to look at them and I know hubby would have enjoyed it

General Discussion / Re: Speed Limits
« on: April 11, 2014, 09:37:59 PM »
After passing my test I had a Ford 2ltr estate to drive.

I passed with BSM and asked for a motorway lesson ( more confidence than anything) plus an hour parking it up in the squashy old multi storey car park off Park Road.

It might sound daft to some but it was a big car for a new driver and I needed tips on this.
It was worth the few extra quid as I don't have any problems with parking up unlike some I have watched.

General Discussion / Re: Speed Limits
« on: April 11, 2014, 08:18:25 PM »
I won't ever agree with the 80 mph. Don't mind doing 70 mph but how many of us are able to react at high speed. We haven't the training and with so much traffic on motorways would never stand a chance.

General Discussion / Re: Speed Limits
« on: April 11, 2014, 07:23:58 PM »
Probably practicing for the new speed limit they may be putting in.
One can never go fast enough for some on the roads.

General Discussion / Re: That's the jollies 2014 sorted :-)
« on: April 11, 2014, 07:21:18 PM »
Get ya shorts and sun tan packed then Fly have a lovely holiday  8)

General Discussion / Re: Best photo of 2014
« on: April 11, 2014, 06:12:01 PM »
Love the blossom trees even though they make me sneeze

Nice try Fly  ;D

Entertainment / Re: RIP Sue Townsend aged 68 3/4
« on: April 11, 2014, 06:09:00 PM »
RIP Sue  :(

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