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Messages - Old Cruser

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General Discussion / Re: The Sea Was Calling
« on: Today at 12:43:00 PM »
So !!! That idea didn't work did it!!

Time for mummy kins to find a bit of work, which I did of course ( my champers don't come cheap  ;) )

This is me in my outfit - sexy eh  :-*

Only problem was the temperature had hit 98F and I was melting  8)

Hubby offered to ------ er no I can't put that, ----- pete the paint or flybynight will ban me ---- AGAIN  :-?

So we had one last attempt at finding some work to keep the bank balance healthy  (y)

General Discussion / Re: The Sea Was Calling
« on: Today at 12:36:46 PM »
Only problem was daughter could sup those B52's quicker than he could earn the euros to buy em so we decide she could maybe do a bit of work whilst we were in Gibralta.

Anway, she ditched her powered wheelchair for a motor bike  (y)

Only problem was it revved off at 90 miles an hour - totally unexpected and she flew off the back of it like shit off a shovel  :-?  :-?  :-?

I had to send hubby jogging after her to catch hold of her legs!!!  :(

My hero!!  ;)

General Discussion / Re: The Sea Was Calling
« on: Today at 12:32:18 PM »
Ok found it!

Doesn't my hubby look handsome phew I fell for him all over again and bless him he earned a few euros

General Discussion / Re: The Sea Was Calling
« on: Today at 11:14:43 AM »
I'm on Brittannia end of next month.

Not been on that one JR let me know what you thought of it please  (y)

Chesterfield Discussion / Walton Hospital
« on: Today at 09:04:36 AM »
Also noticed that plans are set to demolish part of the hospital in preparation for building houses, I can vaguely remember someone suggesting on here that there were plans in the pipe line for this ages ago.

Meanwhile there is a new surgery needed to replaced to one closed down recently - any reason part of the hospital due to come down could not have been used for this?

Chesterfield Discussion / Re: The Walton St Augustins Road
« on: Today at 09:00:32 AM »
Had a quick look through the D.T and see that Hillcare Solutions LTD have applied for the pub to come down.
Have googled them and the only company I could find was indeed a care home as suggested earlier in the thread.
It said it would be August before they knew if they had permission to demolish it - I hope they are rejected!

Fun Stuff / Kids eh !!
« on: Today at 08:44:47 AM »
Alittle girl was talking to her teacher about whales.   The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'  The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
AKindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' 
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
ASunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' From the back,  one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
  I love this one!!!
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. 'Just think how  nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
  Ateacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,     'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'   
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples...'

Fun Stuff / A Misunderstanding, Let Me Explain !!
« on: Today at 08:41:02 AM »
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset.

‘You are a disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me –faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!’

And the husband replied ‘Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.’

“Fine, go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”

And the husband began — “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t use because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t use because I don’t have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t use because someone at work has a pair the same.”

The husband took a quick breath and continued – “She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, ‘Please … do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?’”


Fun Stuff / Protesters
« on: Today at 08:38:23 AM »
This actually happened in an Underground station in London . There were protesters on the station concourse handing out pamphlets on the evils of the UK
I politely declined to take one. An elderly woman behind me was getting off the escalator and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined.
The young protester put her hand on the woman's shoulder as a gesture of Friendship and in a very soft voice said, 'Madam, don't you care about the children of Iraq ?'
The elderly woman looked up at her and said, 'My dear, my father died in France during World War 2, I lost my husband in Korea and my grandson in Afghanistan .
All three died so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth our Country.
If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your arse and trust me, I'll open it?.

General Discussion / Re: The Sea Was Calling
« on: July 27, 2015, 10:21:56 PM »

General Discussion / The Sea Was Calling
« on: July 27, 2015, 09:48:36 PM »
So this old cruser has been bobbing around on the ocean for a couple of weeks.

Daughter went with us as a pre- 40th birthday celebration.

Went into one or two shows, the Tribute to Queen was fabulous, as was the Quo tribute only thing was there were some older farts than us in the audience and when they struck up with the first hit there were hearing aid wires flying around as the oldies disconnected themselves.  :))
Laugh ---- ehhh the tears rolled down me old legs.  :))

Anyway, daughter's an expensive lady and cash was running short so when we berthed in Marseille I told hubby as it was a long day there he could find a day job - which he did bless him.
Hang on peeps I've got a photo somewhere of him at work - he looked so smart =================
nips off to find it ==========================================

Chesterfield Discussion / Re: Morrisons on Vicar Lane has closed.
« on: July 26, 2015, 08:32:52 PM »
That's a big turn about from the notice in their window a few weeks ago!

I wouldn't know who they targeted but they did come door knocking pre-election and how do they know who lives there?

Politics / Re: Animal Farm
« on: July 26, 2015, 06:13:37 PM »
And they have given themselves a 10 % pay rise, what ever happened to ' were short of money ' song?

They earn it!!

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